Journey to Self-Recovery
Why I Don’t have a Story to Share: How to Drop your Story in a Second!
Hello beautiful being,
The wonderful soul, Karen, recently invited me to share my ‘story’ with you, and I’m so grateful to be able to share my heart and journey in the hope of inspiring you back to balanced wellbeing. Writing about wellbeing is my passion, you see – and I’m a big believer that you should follow your heart; that’s what got me here…
When I set out to share my ‘story’ with you, though, I realised – I don’t have a ‘story’ – I only have truth (as we all do) so what I hope you hear from this is that we can change our stories in any instant and return to the truth of who we really are: even when we think we can’t.
Let’s Start at the Beginning: Universal Blessings that Seemed Disastrous!
I’ll start, like everyone does – at the beginning (it’s the most sensible place, right?). When I was in my early 20’s, I became ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which was a real sign that I was feeling imbalanced. Like many people, I was career-focused and just followed the routine of getting qualified and working hours-upon-end as the responsible Brand Manager I had become, but it felt so stressful that I ended up expressing illness and disconnection. Suddenly, I found myself overwhelmed, anxious, and unable to physically function because I was just so exhausted. I thought it was a complete disaster. What I didn’t realise was that it was naturally an innate blessing that the universe had in store for me…
Journeying to Self-Recovery
As it turned out, I set out on a path of self-recovery, naturally. You’re meeting me here, aren’t you? Most people come to the natural route following some kind of inspirational realisation that there is a need for a return to something simpler and innate. For me, this is a return to ‘truth.’ I ended up re-training and specialising in many different natural therapies – from reflexology, aromatherapy and reiki to yoga, meditation and homeopathy; you name it, I journeyed there, searching far and wide. Slowly and surely, I became more balanced. But, there was still something that didn’t quite make sense; I still felt stuck in my past stories. I’d sit and meditate, I’d feel my feelings, but I was still stuck in the past much of the time, re-living traumas over and over; and I’m a believer that you need to feel your feelings, but they were overwhelming me (I thought). Meditation is all about being ‘in the moment’ so I felt I was missing the point at times, and got hung up on how miserably I could fail even though at sometimes, when I felt connected I was meditating ‘well’ – it’s funny how you can be so judgemental of yourself, right?
Feeling Disconnected and Searching for the Missing Piece
One day, I was following my truth, being authentic and living a natural life, doing what I loved but I still found myself to be anxious, and felt like something was missing. I travelled the world searching for whatever it was; and this didn’t feel like an easy task for someone so anxious – it grew me in ways I couldn’t imagine! I heard yogic philosophy that ‘the answers are within’ and I thought I understood it at times; in Bali, I felt fulfilled, settled, creative, inspired, whole and generally amazing. I was meditating every day, doing yoga every day, and just loving life. Great, right? Yes, until I’d return home, and feel exactly the same way as I did before… Of course, I always looked to the external, to change that in attempts to ‘fix’ the internal. Do you hear me? Then something changed to help me understand why the answer really are within…
Profound Insights about What It Is To Be Human
Here’s the profound bit: one day, I met a lady who finally explained some amazing insights on how life works, and this was the most inspirational thing I have ever experienced. So inspiring, in fact, that I am now writing a book about because I just have to share it!
These insights seem quite simple, but when they sink in, they are really quite profound. We innately know them, so they seem obvious, but once you truly understand (and you don’t have to ‘do anything’ to understand – just hear them and let them sink into your own wisdom – you’ll see how you can let go of anything to return to wellbeing.
To be human is to live with three principles:
1) Firstly, we are conscious beings, you know that – it’s not new, right? There is something greater than us at play, we are energetic beings existing with the influence of greater powers – like nature, spirit, Gods – or whatever you find meaningful to you to describe this higher power. Life has a plan for us, that we can’t control.
2) Secondly, as humans on this plane, we operate via ‘thought in the moment’ all the time, and this can vary, moment to moment. You’ll notice this when you’re meditating, perhaps. You know those little thoughts that pop in to say ‘hello, what’s for tea?’ just as you’re trying to find space? That happens all the time. Sometimes these thoughts can be good; somethings they can be not-so good. The mistake we make is that in our experience of life, we think we have to believe them all! This is not true. Our thoughts fluctuate moment to moment and we can see even the same thing differently according to how we are thinking and feeling in that second.
3) Thirdly, we have an experience of life as a human being, which completely relies on this thinking, in the moment. Our entire experience of life is made up from our thought. We often think our ‘feelings’ are our experience of life, but these are created from our thinking. The truth - the reality - is what is underneath this thinking: who we really are at our core. And that, my dears, is innately whole, perfect, beautiful, connected conscious beings.
Becoming conscious of, and letting go of, our ‘thinking-in the moment’ allows us to experience the truth, and gain clarity on the reality of who we really are underneath and trust in the universe to allow ourselves to flow through life.
So often, especially in our busy lives, we forget these simple truths. We get caught up in believing that our experience of life in this moment is exact truth, forever. We think that our ‘stories’ are who we are. We think that our experience in this moment is always reality. We think that how we feel is a direct reflection of our core truth. Let me tell you: it is NOT.
The Inside-Out Reality
How we feel is actually just a reflection of our inner thinking. We operate from the inside-out, not the outside-in. I realise now that I am always that connected, creative, inspired being from Bali; no matter where I am! All that had happened was I let go of my ‘thinking’ that I ‘wasn’t connected, creative and inspired’ when I thought that the environment was right for me to be all of those! Whatever we think about the outside is a direct reflection of our inner state. For example, we may ‘think’ we are ‘stuck in our stories.’ I could think ‘I am ill, I am unhappy, I am anxious, I need to change the external environment’ and continue down that route, which would make me feel like I needed to change something externally. But, as we understand that the nature of being human is to operate from our thinking, we realise that our discomfort is coming entirely from within – as a reflection of our thinking. Seeing our thinking for what it really is - just thought in the moment – allows us to trust, to just let it flow by, letting the truthful clarity and wisdom emerge.
Nothing to Fix: Just Being Aware Returns Us to the Truth
This isn’t to say we need to ‘change our thinking;’ there is nothing to ‘fix,’ because we are already whole - but we can become aware of it. That realisation that we are operating from ‘thought,’ moment to moment, just brings us back to our truth. Underneath all our ‘thinking’ is the truth of who we are. When we are born, we are innately whole, perfect and complete – and we are always connected to source. That never changes; the only thing that changes is our ability to add thought into the equation. Right from being a baby, the moment we are given a teddy bear to comfort us, we learn what we ‘think’ to be that the ‘external impacts us,’ but 100% of the comforted, settled feeling in that situation is coming from within; it’s not coming from the inanimate teddy bear. This is the nature of being human.
Learning: Our Story is Not Our Story
What this means for our stories is that our story is not our truthful reality. Even when it feels like it –our feelings come from our thinking. When we understand that whatever our ‘story’ is comes entirely from thought and that underneath this, we are our truthful, innately whole, perfect self, just operating as a human experiencing life via thought, we see that we can let it go – in an instant. Oh, it might not feel like it’s that easy – because you’re trying to ‘think’ about it and rationalise it, but I promise you that it’s the truth!
That’s not to say you suppress it and say ‘oh, it’s just thought’ – we can still experience our feelings, but from an aware perspective that we know underneath our thought we are always ok; we can’t not be. If you could see who you really were, how could you not be ok?
You Might Not Hear it Immediately, but It’s a Universal Truth
When I first heard this, I didn’t get it immediately, but then one day, I woke up with a profound insight – without even doing anything to change! That’s the beauty of uncovering the truth. Initially, it may even feel uncomfortable, but on some level what I am saying will be resonating. One day, just from this knowledge, you can wake – like I did - with an insight that you weren’t aware of before… I promise; I have felt experience of it. There were things I ‘thought’ I just couldn’t let go of, that I had identified with for years as being my story, and now I just laugh at the little thoughts that pop up about them, and see the clarity of the reality underneath this! Underneath my thinking, I am a perfectly whole, innately resilient, connected being – and you are, too! We are not our stories…
We are only ever experiencing our relationship with life through our thoughts about life. You will see more by surrounding yourself with this understanding and continuing the conversation about life – I welcome you to join me to connect…
Nicole Barton is a passionate Holistic Health and Wellbeing Specialist, adoring all things ‘holistic.’ . Holistically healing herself, training at an award-winning college in various weird and wonderful complementary therapies and travelling the world to learn about worldly wellbeing - including her passions for Yoga, Meditation, Homeopathy and Aromatherapy - she established Chalet Holistics – her specialist wellbeing clinic and training centre, based in rural Warwickshire. Nowadays, she specialises as a Wellbeing Mentor, helping people make sense of life and to support themselves back to balance, via natural health coaching. You can find her hopping between specialist clinics in Warwickshire, West Midlands and London.
Insta: @ WellbeingWriter
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22/12/2022 06:25:09 pm
Hi thanks for shariing this
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